For most of us, it comes with extreme ease to give kind and caring words to others showing our endless support and unconditional love; yet when the tables are turned, why do we find it difficult to accept equal compassion towards ourselves?
We have been taught to be kind to others yet to hold the same love for ourselves can be considered ego-centric, narcissistic even. For the most part, the majority of us don’t possess enough self-love, so in turn low self-worth, and low self-value and low self-confidence.
Self-love is extremely important. It is a state of appreciation for oneself that grows from continuous actions that support your physical, psychological and spiritual growth.
It means accepting your emotions and holding a high regard for your happiness. It means taking care of your own needs and not sacrificing your well-being to please others. When you hold yourself in high esteem, this will drive you to make healthy choices in life that serve you well.
Caring for others is important, but it shouldn’t come at the expense of your own well-being. Here are the ten reasons:
1 Self-love helps reduce stress: Self-care is a significant part of self-love. Without it, you might not believe you deserve a break and might therefore power through a stressful time even when it’s painful. When you have healthy self-love, you will recognise the signs of burnout and are willing to take time out to repose, replenish and revive.
2 Self-love can help you develop healthier habits: Loving yourself can help you make better decisions. When you accept yourself without harsh judgment, you are more motivated to make positive changes in your life. Self-compassion helps form new, healthier habits.
3 Self-love improves your emotional resilience: During hard times, it’s easy to slip into despair. Self-love helps counter negative self-talk and put things in perspective. Even if your struggles are a result of mistakes you made, self-love encourages you to learn from the mistakes and move forward. This builds your emotional resilience and prepares you for future challenges.
4 Self-love improves your relationships: There’s a common saying that states you can’t truly love others until you love yourself. While this proverb is a bit extreme, loving yourself does help improve your relationships. When you love yourself, you won’t feel as dependent on others for your sense of worth. This helps you set boundaries or if necessary, end unhealthy relationships.
5 Self-love makes you more productive: Procrastination is a productivity killer. To get yourself motivated, you might resort to harsh tactics. Some people use threats of self-punishment to try and accomplish a task, but this is not an effective motivator. It’s better to have compassion for yourself when you procrastinate. Use your “failure” as a learning opportunity for the future. Instead of being bogged down with self-criticism, you’ll feel lighter and ready to make changes to your behaviour.
6 Self-love can help manage anxiety and depression: It has been suggested that people with high levels of self-compassion have a lower risk for developing anxiety or depression. This implies that aspects of self-love can help manage symptoms.
7 Self-love can increase your happiness: Accepting and loving all aspects of yourself, flaws included is linked to increased happiness. Self-love encourages you to view yourself like a good friend. You can acknowledge that you’re not perfect and still worthy of acceptance and support.
8 Self-love boosts your confidence: People with negative self-talk often struggle with low self-esteem. Self-love is a great way to recognise your skills, be compassionate when you’re frustrated and celebrate your wins — this in turn strengthens your confidence muscle.
9 Self-love helps you achieve your goals: Self-love teaches that your dreams deserve priority. It isn’t selfish to go after what you want in life. As long as you aren’t stepping on others to reach your goals, you can live your fulfilling life.
10 Self-love inspires others: Self-love can be contagious. When you model a healthy relationship with yourself, it motivates others. They will follow suit and begin to practice more self-care and self-compassion.
In order to truly encompass the meaning of self-love, make sure you replace criticism and comparison with acceptance and appreciation. Communicate with yourself in a kind and loving manner.
Show respect for yourself by setting boundaries and prioritising your needs through spending quality time doing what makes your heart happy. There is no better love than loving oneself. You will automatically radiate from the inside out and spread the joy and beauty that resides inside.
