When your back is pinned against the wall

Have you lost your job or are you running out of money, maybe even going through a divorce?

It does not come easy to express yourself when your back is pinned on the wall. Words do not flow out easily.
Anger dominates your thoughts and somewhere in the back of your mind, you desperately look for a scapegoat to put the blame on.

That is the mental part of it while the physical aspect of the predicament has pushed your blood pressure up and races your heart.

It is not an ideal situation to be in but then it is not easy to just shrug it off just because someone said you needed a distraction.

Like a boat in rough waters, you feel nothing but the whipping wind and see only dark clouds over the horizons.

The worse thing that can happen is that when people interpret the creases on your forehead as a hostile frown.

Or for that matter, the difficulty in finding words to describe the turmoil as arrogance.

They don’t know that you are fighting a battle with undefined enemies in unknown war zones.

Different people face their problems in different ways. Some people throw tantrums and some just completely break down.

These are the two extremes that we normally accustomed to.  You get the support when one swings on either side because it attracts more attention.

Why, I don’t know. Perhaps you need to humiliate yourself first and pass through both thresholds to win attention.  It does not have to be that way.

It means that people who try to internally rationalise by finding answers in a muted manner to get out of the problem, are left alone to deal with their troubles.

They eventually do but it takes them quite a long time because they are later blamed for “bottling up” what they feel.

Loss of jobs, illnesses, deaths and a number of things trigger off fear. They bring up a lot of uncertainties. In the end, one cannot even deal with the simple task of brushing their teeth when the panic strikes.

What you usually took for granted in the past now becomes a major issue of a gigantic proportion.

When the symptoms are finally detected by people around you, they simply ask you to fight it without telling you how.

It is like asking a two year old toddler to climb a hundred step stairs. I am not exaggerating but for those who have been going through that then they know what I am talking about.  

For those who have not, then perhaps they can pick up clues. Well, as they say, life stops for no one. In the end, one needs to rely on their own resources if other people fail to respond.

If the dark clouds start to gather overhead, then build your own shelter before the downpour comes heavily down on you.

Instead of staring into space and cover yourself with the blanket of self-pity, find your way out. This is the clue.

When the mind is blocked, just use the pen to empty your thoughts in a piece of paper.

This will work well when everybody around you is busy to listen. It also works equally well when you record your voice in a tape recorder.

You can listen to your own problems after you have poured it out.

It is amazing how therapeutic it can be with these two methods. It is also amazing how you find answers when you either read or listen to your own confessions.