Shakespeare’s characters are impeccable, each for their distinctive identities, appreciated, not only for the many positive and admirable characteristics they display, but because in their tragic flaws, we identify something of ourselves. Whether it is with Othello’s jealousy, Anthony’s capriciousness, or Macbeth’s naked ambition, there is something in each of those characters, and in their fatal flaws, loved and unloved, that we can relate to.
Our children too have their individuality, their characteristics, their ways of doing and not doing things. They may work hard… or not, may be tidy… or not, may be athletic and healthy… or not, be articulate, intelligent, and academically driven… or not, may feel loved… or not. I never said they may not be loved, but that they may not feel loved, and in that, a part of them will be forever in the shade. As the ancient and revered Chinese philosopher Lao Tzu said, “Being loved gives you strength,” and in strength, you always find the will to carry on.
Maybe, whether as parents, grandparents, uncles, and aunts, we should devote more time, display more understanding, exercise greater wisdom, offer more empathy and compassion, and perhaps engage with the tree-hugging, dolphin stroking, organic intimacy of our vulnerable selves, to open ourselves, to engage with, and draw these young people closer to the fold, to draw the deep and emotional responses from those who, whether it is always clear or not, look to the adults around them to enrich and enhance their life experience? It may be… no… it is certainly, a conversation worth having, with them.
You see, it’s not enough sometimes to say that you love them, because it’s either said in such a casual manner as to have little genuine emphasis, and ironically it is expressed almost as a duty, “I love you,” that is said in front of others, not for the child’s benefit, but more for the other adults in the room. It may not lack emotion, but the message of love needs to be delivered in an intensely private setting to be heard, understood, and inwardly celebrated by children who one day will grow to be adults.
Another dramatist, Frenchman Victor Hugo wrote that the greatest happiness in life is the certainty that we are loved for ourselves, or maybe more correctly, in spite of ourselves, whatever our failings, and also that “There is no other pearl to be found in the dark folds of life.” Our children need to know they have found that pearl, that place in your heart that is only for them, and though they, or you may err, may stumble as you both journey through your life’s path… that place is your shared Nirvana, not in a religious, but in a distinctly spiritual sense.
As teachers, we must love and encourage our students, but not only towards academic achievement, towards being better stronger people. We, teachers, are not the be all and end all, of our student’s lives, but we must make ourselves relevant to their lives and life experiences. We also need to be those closest to them, not family or friends, upon which they can examine, or challenge, or test, each new step on their adult journey. They will need to know that they are appreciated, respected, needed, valued, as young adults and members of a class, cohort, school, and society. They must be guided towards an understanding of the subtle characteristics of respect, dignity and compassion, these being the qualities that set some apart from others, not evident in all of Shakespeare’s characters, for sure, but then Shakespeare did write for the stage, for drama, and effect, and our lives, while dramatic enough, could not sustain the pace and intrigue of the eminent bard.
Let’s take our inspiration from a man of words and music, of today… Bob Dylan, who wrote, “There is nothing I wouldn’t do… to make you feel my love.”
